The Pitfalls of Over-Scheduling Your Child
Copyright (c) 2007 Pat Brill
It's no secret that American children have jam-packed schedules and expectations that most adults never had to deal with. But you might be surprised to learn that many children carry around a PDA to store schedules and contact information, and a cell phone to stay connected to parents who may be at work or attending a sibling's scheduled event.
Or maybe you're not surprised at all. Maybe like so many moms and dads, you practically live out of your mini-van, carting your kids from one activity to the next. Maybe you too are beginning to wonder if the violin lessons and soccer games are really worth missing out on family dinner.
For some parents, the decision to schedule a seemingly nonstop array of activities and lessons is based on the desire to give their children an "edge" over other children with respect to college admission and other life goals. Other parents are mindful of the temptations so often indulged in after school, and would rather keep their kids busy than have them get involved in drugs, alcohol, or sex. Whereas some parents simply have a hard time saying no to their children's requests to partake in extracurricular activities.
However you feel about the benefits of participating in a plethora of activities, over scheduling may be taking a toll on your child. With little or no room to relax and play, kids are stressed out. Over-scheduled kids often develop anxiety disorders and are more prone to illness.
Surprisingly, all of the extra homework and tutoring can cause over-scheduled students' grades to suffer. Not as measurable is the effect all of this running about has on a child's imagination. With no time to relax or be spontaneous, creative thinking has little chance of developing.
Not often discussed in the context of over-scheduling is the effect it has on the parents. Working full-time � either in or outside of the home � is stressful enough. When you add in numerous activities for each child, there is no time left for personal rejuvenation, or even sleep. When mom or dad is stressed out, it trickles down to the kids very fast. Not to mention the challenges over-scheduling poses to a relationship with a partner.
In an effort to fit everything in, families rarely experience time all together, and if they do, it is often in the car. The family dinner seems to be a thing of the past, yet it is this golden time when everyone comes together to share thoughts about the day. When a family is physically disconnected, it is easy to become emotionally disconnected. Without a strong bond with their parents, children are more likely to get involved in drugs, drinking, and promiscuous sex.
Perhaps most detrimental is the message parents are sending when they place supreme importance on achievement. Children learn by example more than anything else, and when the family culture is one of over-achievement, it can set your child up for a lifetime of stress.
In this type of environment, children may feel a low sense of self-worth, as if they can never truly measure up to your expectations. Also, the meaning of the lesson, the true benefit of the experience is lost. Instead, the honors classes, Varsity football, and volunteer activities are heralded for their ability to help your kids get into a great college.
"The greatest gift we can give our children is the deep, inner conviction that they don't have to perform for us to love and cherish them," says Dr. Alvin Rosenfeld, author of Hyper-Parenting the Over-Scheduled Child and founder of National Family Night. (Talk to New York City's Brick Church, January 2003)
If you are worried your child is over-scheduled, you need not cut out everything right away. Begin by setting aside one night a week for family time. Sit down together as a family and vote on what you would like to do together.
Once you have a few family nights under your belt, take time to really examine your family's schedule. Let each child choose one activity they would like to do most, and let the others go for now. Whenever possible, involve the entire family in a child's activity. Why not get everyone to go to Saturday's game, or the Friday night recital?
The good news is, your efforts to simplify your family's schedule and remove stressful expectations from your child's life will be felt almost immediately. It won't be long before you will treasure your "do nothing" time more than any certificate of achievement. You will soon find that the easy laughter with your partner, your child seeking you out for advice, and your own ability to breathe is worth letting go of just about any activity.
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Pat Brill is co-founder of http://www.SilkBow.com which supports Busy Moms with free gift ideas and helpful tips to meet the challenges of motherhood. She is also co-founder of http://www.WellnessArticles.net , a directory of articles covering many areas of wellness. You can reach Pat at pat@SilkBow.com.
Got a Stubbern Stain? A Trick That The Professionals Don
Here a few tips for keeping your carpet looking good as new. Here a few pointers for those nasty stains.
1. If you spill something get it right away. You want to remove any debris first and then use clean, cold water and a clean cloth or paper towels and then make sure to blot the stain and not rub, scrub or brush as this could damage the fibers in the carpet as well as cause the stain to bleed further. Make sure you try this first before trying any other desperate measures.
2. If your goal is to maintain the carpet for as long as possible be sure to vacuum at least once a week and spot treat as needed.
3. Chemicals should be your last resort as they are hard on the fibers of the carpet. Before going to that extreme try using something very mild first. You may want to try something as simple as clean water and liquid soap. FOR organic stains (blood, food or animal urine) try oxygen based cleaners.
Always use gloves and have good ventilation if you need to use carpet spot removal products as these chemicals are dangerous to use.
You always want to make sure to find a hidden place to test the cleaning products. This is a precaution measure to make sure it doesn�t stain. If the cleaner is safe to use on the carpet take a small amount of spot removal and apply it to a clean white cloth and start working your way starting from the outside of the stain then inward. Only try the stronger solutions when you are not getting the desirable results with water and soap.
5. After you feel the stain is removed to your satisfaction rinse and clean the water while blotting the excess out. BE sure to check that the towels aren't getting to wet is so then they probably can't absorb anymore water. And as always and this is one of the bigger things people tend to do is over wetting this is not good as this could cause a mildew like smell in the carpet and in the air of the room.
Remember the key to keeping a nice carpet is to act quickly on spill stains.
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Lior-Bar Kleen has been an owner of many businesses in the Miami Carpet Cleaning and Florida Carpet Cleaning Industry for the past 15 years.
Unsightly Litter Box- Love Your Cat with Cat Litter Furniture
Anyone who has a pet cat also has at least one litter box. However, the standard litter box, even one with a cover, leaves a lot to be desired in the way of fashion. If someone loves his or her cat, he or she has to tolerate its litter box, there is just no other choice. However, thanks to the cleverness and fashion sense of a few, everyone can benefit from the advent of cat litter furniture. Never heard of it? Keep reading - you may be pleasantly surprised.
You may have the cat litter box in a far away corner, down in the laundry room or even in the basement. Although the main reason for putting it out of the way may be to hide it, it also provides a useful purpose, a place of privacy for you kitty. In some large homes this may be easy to do. But many cat owners today live in smaller, modest homes that can not quite support the needs of both the cat and the owner.
Sometimes the only alternative for cat owners with small houses or apartments is to put the box in plain view. Generally, this placement will not make the cat, the owner or guests comfortable. Thankfully, now the litter box can be hidden inside of cat litter furniture. That's right, furniture that is made specifically to house the litter box in plain view. These fashionable and clever pieces of furniture completely solve the problem of litter box placement in small areas, leaving everyone, including the cat, happy.
Cat litter furniture is available in a wide variety of styles and colors to match any home d�cor. One of the more popular styles of this type of furniture is the cabinet. This is because of its ease of entry for the cat, ease of accessibility to the litter box and its multi usefulness for the owner. With this type of cat litter furniture, the litter box is placed inside the cabinet, a cat door is provided and the top is hinged for easy access. The size of the cabinet will depend on the size the litter box required. The nice thing about this unit is that it can be placed anywhere that any other table would be placed.
The best time to introduce cat litter box furniture to your cat is when it is still a kitten and still learning the rules of the house, but an older cat can learn to use it as well. With an older cat it is important to go slow, prop the cat door on the furniture open, this will provide the cat the opportunity to check it out without feeling trapped. Don't take the established litter box away, rather slowly move it over a couple of days toward the unit, finally putting it inside. Praise the cat when he uses it and, as always, keep it clean.
The most important thing about your cat litter furniture is that it is a barometer of your cats health. If you notice your kitty is not making his regular visits to the box then something is up! You may notice that you cat has a case of diarrhea. This would indicate a definite problem is at hand. Sometimes a cat will even lay down in it's cat box, this is a sign of possible serious sickness or other problems as cats usually have very clean habits. If you notice any of these signs or symptoms you should be sure to contact your vet.
Now, go shopping for a great new piece of cat litter furniture!
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David Lee is owner and designer of AceCatFurniture.com and AceCatHealth.com web sites. See his sites for information such as cat flea control , or cat food nutrition.
